I Gotta Axs Krissteen Sumthin

Hay Krissteen, I was jest wonderin wut yew thawt abowt that crazee gerl we dun met in Vaygus with Andee. I am axsin on accownt that that crazee bitch is cummin into my dreems an awl, and welp, i pooped alil bit the last time she dun that.

Stewpit Fukkers

Hey Kimmee gess wut?

Kids suck and I half deesided I shore aint halfin no mor. That won qwad uv mine that gawt awl hitched up like has dun lawst her fukkin mine and welp I dun tolt her that she aint my favrit qwad nun no mor.

Enywon half sum advice that thay cain gift me abowt how tew make her stawp being awl stewpit like?

Iffin yew dew, pleez let me node sews i caint tri an fix her stewpit ass.

Krissteen

Wut now?

Hay Kimmee. Yew node wut? Yew node that won kwad uv mines, yew node wut won. Tha won wut we awl thawt wus awl nockered up but cum tew fine owt she was jest gittin fat? Welp she dun gawt awl hitched up tha uther day an i tale yew wut, me an skeet we shore is broke now sints we dun spint awl hour munee on that shotgun wedding uv hers.

Tha gude news is that she aint nockered up nun and we reelee dint half tew yews tha shot gun but skeet dun had it reddy jest in case he trite tew git away an awl.

Sew nows I shore gawts me a reel sun that I can pick on. Aint that sum shit?

Welp, that is wi I aint bin arownd much lately sints i was gittin that kwad uv mine awl gussied up fer that speshul ocashun.

Welp, bi sum. Luv yew sum tew.

ok, than bi now.

tha fat laydee

Win i wus jest a littull gerl mi uncool-dadee dun tolt me that et aint neffur ovur until tha fat laydee sings.

Welp she dun sung. I shore hope he wus tawlkin abowt tha fat laydee at that thar deepartmunt uv kids cuz that fat hoar dun cum over tew my traylor win me an skeet wus gawn this last weekund an she dun drank up awl my free beers, halfed sum sex with tha kwads an thin she dun wint tew kimmies traylor and dun halfed sum sex with tha won kid uv hers an koots wut has tha big hed, yew node wich won i em tawlkin abowt kimmee.

Enyway, win me an skeet dun gawt home my kwads was awl crying an i dun axed thim wi thay was awl cryin an that is win thay dun tolt me abowt tha fat laydee frum tha deepartmunt uv kids cumin over an takin thim awl in tha hawt tub (wut skeet dun made frum that owl bustid up water heeter) an she dun mate thim awl git in an wash up an thin she dun gifted thim awl free beers an tolt thim tew pewt et in thar hares an scrub.

Now I axe yew, wut kine uv laydee dus that tew sumwon elsis kwads?

I thank me an tha fat laydee is gunna brawl an kimmee, yew need tew cum help me sints yew is sew expereminted with tha fat laydees an awl.

Wut dew yew say?

It's Yer Fukkin Tern Krissteen

Hay, it's yer fukkin tern Krissteen. I caint be riting everthing.

Help Me Help Yew Help Me Sum

Welp, I went to this gerl partee wut shows yew stuff yew ken bi to fancee up yer sex lifes and i bawt sum of this stuff callt fare a moans. It is a spray wut yer spost to spray on yerself in yer privit parts.

I dun that.

Now wood sum won pleez tell me how the hell i am spost to git kooter off me? He is worst than a kittee on the nip, or skeet on the free beers.

Krissteen, i node yew dun tolt me that it wuz a gude deel an awl, butt i aint seen the val yew yet. I caint git the man to dew enuff arownd hear as it is and now i got me won crayzee dewd on my hands. Maybee yew could sent skeet over hear in a bit to axe him to go to the nascar or sumthin, cuz that preecher is spost to be stoppin bi fore a spell and it aint rite to be greetin the preecher with a nakid man tryin to git on yerself. I caint git a dam thing dun.

Bewbies

Thar seams tew bee a lawt uv talkin abowt tha bewbies an I onlee thank et is fare fer me tew cleer up sumthin.

Kimmee, jest beecuz yew like tew wach sum bewbies flippin an a floppin shore downt meend that i dew sum tew. Now shore, i dew like tew see sum bewbies but nawt awl bewbies is gude on that eyes... Sum uv yew node wut i meen thar huh?

Bewbies is gude fer awl kines uv things sew I half made up a list uv wut i half yewed mi bewbies fer...

1. i half fed mi qwads sum
2. i half fed skeet sum, onlee tha time win we wus awl owtta milk, but cum tew fine owt that he dun lite tew me jest sews he cud suck sum on mi bewbies
3. that won time win i wanted tew see that won fancee guys willie, i dun showt mi bewbs but that fukker shore dint showd me hes willie nun, tha fukker
4. that won time win i was at that won bar an that fancee sittee ladee sed she halfs biggher bewbs than me, i dun showt thim tew tha werld
5. win me and kimmee wunts sum new clows frum skeet an koot we pewt thim tewgether an show thim tew skeet an koot an thim fukkers is sew dum that thay think we half sum reely big bewbs, thay shore downt node et is me an kimmee pewtin thim tewgether
6. win we need a ride howme frum bingo, sumtimes i showd em on tha street sints skeet an koot is awlways tew drunk frum the free beers tew cum gift us
7. win me and skeet dew sum fukkin, i let hem play with em fer sum fun

I think that is awl i dun yewsd mi bewbies fer, wut abowt yew?

Fer Kimmee Ann

This heer is an opin lether tew my won frind Kimmee frum yew node hoo. I dun started up this heer blawg sews me an yew cain tawlk sumtimes an sews that sum peepull cain axe sum kweshtuns and iffin we fill like we cain antser thim than we shore weel but iffin we caint welp thin thay is jest fukt.

Aw now Krissteen, I dew thank this is a gude ideea. I jest no thare are a lot of folx wut half a lot of stuff to axe and maybee thay are a mite embearassed abowt sumthin, or maybee thay aint got no kin thay ken trust nun like skeets folx, or maybee thay jest aint got a fone or caint spell rite and that mite bee wut stops em cold sum. wuteffer. I herd the preecher say yew git to heven rite kwick wen yew stick yer nose in uther folx problims. I dint node wut the hell he waz talkin abowt wen he sayed that, but now i dew.

(This is privit fir kimmee sews averywon else pleese clows yer eye, an iffin yew half tew eyes thin pleese clows thim bowth).

Kimmee, i shore dew miss yew sum an me an skeet wood shore be happee sum iffin yew and koot cood cum o'er fir a cewk owt sewn or sum shit. we cood half lawts uv free beers an skeet dun kilt that won kritter wut wus peekin in tha window tha uther day an awl and welp i jest wood be happee fir yew an koot tew cum o'er sum, sews wut dew yew sey? rite me back on this heer blawg sum an let me node, kay? yer freend krissteen.

Krissteen, yew no i mist yew sum to. Me and kooter wood luv fore yew and skeet to cum over hear to hour howss and stay, and we wood luv to cum over to yer playce sum to. I em glad to hear that kritter is dedd, did ya effer figger owt wut the hell it wuz? LOL at myself, on accownt that I had a hell of a time tryin to reed this with both my won eye and my uther eye closed. I finally figgered owt yew dint meen me. Enyways, yer a gude frend and I shore dew luv yew, bi.


(ok, yew awl cain lewk now).

Enewey, iffin yew half sum kweshtuns, yew cain leef thim heer an me an kimmee weel shore tri tew antser thim fer yew. O an yew mite see that sumtimes me an kimmee tawlk differunt, welp that is cuz we both wint tew differunt skoolin and half differunt axcents sum.

It shore is trew that we dew talk diffrint! It sumtimes takes me a hole hour to reed yer shit sumtimes. I thank that maybee we need to agree to dissagree abowt sum werds so that folxs ken follow us eesier. Yew node, sum kind of dixshunary that we both agree to to follow. But this shore is a gude ideea. I jest no that sum folxs is gunna be sew happee to axe us stuff.

Thanks fer stawpin bi tew say hi an awl.
Yep, that gowes ditto fore me to. thanks. bi.

O, and sum won pleese axe us sumthin. Yew see, Krissteen lives up in the mowntins owt west, over in Collerada and she is won big mowntin hoar, but its awl gude. I live over in the eest in Ohio ( but we awl say it like Ohiya). We aint reely got no mowntins hear, but we hour node as the foot hills of the Appleayshuns. That is a mowntin range. Enyway, me and Krissteen likes to say we got lots of wistdum dew to the mowntin lifes. Even tho I aint on no fukkin mowntin no how, but yew awl git it, rite? Sew, go hedd and axe me sumthin. Or Krissteen. Me and Krissteen aint giften Kooter or that dum ass Skeeter the pastwerds to this hear site, sew it aint likely that them to dum assis will bother no won with thare dum asst advise. Thay aint got to sents between them, that is fore shore, and it wood not be kool iffin thay tolt nobody nuthin abowt nuthin. Iffin thay happin to find owt abowt this, thay shore will try to talk at yall, but yew ken jest ignoor them like we dew.

O, and yew ken allways tell who is talkin at ya on accownt that I will yews the red werds and Krissteen will yews wuteffer it is that culler is called.

Ok than, bi yall. And bi Krissteen.